15 de abril de 2010

Insanity of the heart

Dark thoughts...it feels like they're everywhere, everyday.
Crawling and reaching out my troubled mind, waiting, searching for reasons to attack...
"The world's a mess."
"It feels as though I fight so hard, life still seems so unfair."
"It's so hard to not feel lonely at the worst of times..."
Dark moments...shattering my once strong heart with all the morbid acts they're connected to.
I've seen and felt too much...I've witnessed and tumbled one too many times...
Every time I try to stand up, the winds of fate blow once again and make it unable to move.
Trapped inside this shell of bad luck and manipulative reasoning, I stare at the void outside.
I no longer know how I feel, what I feel, if I even feel it...
It's been so many hard hits that my inner self no longer exists, it's a confusing mass of blood and emotions.
I struggle to find a bright side, I hope to always have something to believe in, something that can force me up when most needed...
I can't.
I'm not invincible like many would probably assume.
All these frustrations and endless conflicts have made me hollow...I feel pain but I can no longer show it.
I feel sad but I can no longer cry, I feel desperate but I can no longer scream...
I feel empty just thinking about the possibility of being empty.
All this darkness digs deeper into my heart, this corrupted mind has poisoned what I once knew as my genuine soul.
Countless were the times I wondered:
"Is there a cure for a broken heart?"
"Is there a cure for an empty heart?"
"Is there a cure for a heart that lost a significant, irreplaceable piece of itself?"
...There is no cure. There is nothing that can soften the marks of all the permanent scars.
Nothing will ever heal the insanity of the heart.
Nothing but...the heart itself.

1 comentário:

  1. "the light alwyas finds us, if we move with a little trust"